Parents of Pregnancy and Infant Loss
Navigating Grief During Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month: 10 Practical Tips for Healing
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month—a time for reflecting, remembering, and honoring the lives that were lost too soon. As mothers, we carry so much love for our little ones, and when that love has nowhere to go, the grief can feel overwhelming. Whether you've experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth, or the loss of an infant, the pain is deep and personal. This month is not just about remembering those sweet souls but also about providing support, understanding, and community for mothers and fathers navigating their grief.
Baby's Feet
If you've experienced pregnancy or infant loss, you may find this season particularly challenging. The good news is you don’t have to walk this journey alone, and healing is possible—even in the face of such heart-wrenching loss. Here are 10 practical tips to help you navigate the grief and find a path forward.
1. Acknowledge Your Grief
Grief isn't something we can ignore or rush through. It's essential to acknowledge your pain and give yourself permission to feel the range of emotions that come with loss—whether that’s sadness, anger, confusion, or even moments of relief. Every feeling is valid. Allow yourself space to grieve and remember that it’s okay to not be okay.
2. Create a Memorial or Ritual
Honoring your child can be a powerful part of the healing process. Some mothers find comfort in creating a special memorial—a piece of jewelry, a photo album, or even planting a tree. Others might find solace in participating in remembrance events like lighting a candle on October 15th for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. These acts can provide a tangible way to connect with your baby’s memory and celebrate the love you carry.
3. Lean Into Your Faith
For many, faith is a source of strength in times of grief. Trusting in God’s presence during your pain can be a crucial part of your healing journey. You may find comfort in scripture, prayer, or simply talking to God about your feelings—this includes hurt, disappointment, anger, jelousy, and confusion you might be experiencing at God or due to the circumstances.
This process looks different for each individual, some experience distancing from God and others draw close to him. Both are a part of the grieving process and the big emotions that encompass such a delicate issue.
Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
4. Seek Support from Others
Grief can feel incredibly isolating, especially if others around you haven’t experienced a similar loss. It’s essential to connect with people who understand—whether that's a support group, a trusted friend, or a therapist. Surrounding yourself with a community that can listen, hold space, and validate your feelings is invaluable.
5. Be Gentle with Yourself
Grief doesn’t have a timeline, and healing isn’t linear. On some days, you might feel strong and capable; on others, the sadness might wash over you like a tidal wave. Be gentle with yourself in this process. You are doing the best you can. Give yourself permission to take breaks, rest, or simply be.
6. Journal Your Thoughts and Feelings
Sometimes, writing can be a powerful way to process what you’re going through. Journaling allows you to express feelings you might not be ready to say aloud. It can also help you track your healing journey, seeing how your thoughts and emotions evolve over time. Whether it’s writing letters to your baby, reflecting on the milestones you hoped to share, or simply documenting your grief, journaling can be a comforting outlet, and has been backed by research as an effective tool for helping to articulate, regulate, and manage our symptoms. Journaling even has physical benefits to our well-being like increasing our immunities to sickness, lowering blood pressure, and more!
7. Set Boundaries Around Social Media
Social media can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can offer connection with others who have experienced loss. On the other, it might trigger feelings of sadness, especially when faced with announcements of pregnancies or births. It’s okay to take a break from social media or mute certain accounts to protect your heart during sensitive times.
8. Practice Self-Care
Grieving takes a toll on your body, mind, and spirit. It’s crucial to take care of yourself in the midst of your sorrow. Even small acts of self-care can make a difference—whether that’s taking a walk, nourishing your body with good food, or soaking in a bath. Self-care is not selfish; it’s a necessary part of healing.
9. Let Others Help You
This might be one of the hardest things to do, but let others help you. Whether it’s letting a friend bring over a meal, allowing a family member to watch your other children, or simply accepting a hug—don’t be afraid to lean on others. People want to be there for you, even if they don’t always know how. Let them lighten your load in practical ways.
10. Give Yourself Grace in Parenting Other Children
If you have other children, navigating their needs alongside your grief can be challenging. It’s okay to not be the “perfect” mom during this time. Openly having conversations about the loss, the grief, and sadness, the hurting, models for them that it is normal to grieve. Sometimes, just sitting together in silence or giving an extra cuddle can be healing for both of you.
Many parents have questions about how to hold space for their personal grief while helping their children also grieve the loss. Prosper Counseling can help navigate your family’s unique experience with you including: individual therapy, family therapy, and parenting tools.
Do you know someone who has experienced a pregnancy or infant loss?
Looking for tips on how to best support them?
Here are Five Tips for Supporting Someone Dealing with Pregnancy or Infant Loss:
Supporting someone who has experienced pregnancy or infant loss can feel daunting, especially when you’re unsure of the right words to say. But your presence and willingness to listen can make a huge difference in their healing journey. Here are five tips to keep in mind when reaching out to someone going through this kind of loss:
1. Acknowledge the Loss
One of the most important things you can do is to acknowledge their loss. Avoiding the topic or pretending it didn’t happen can make them feel isolated. Even a simple, “I’m so sorry for your loss,” can let them know you care and that their grief is valid.
2. Listen More Than You Speak
Many people feel compelled to offer words of wisdom or try to “fix” the situation, but what a grieving mother often needs most is someone to listen. Let them guide the conversation. If they want to share memories or feelings, listen with compassion and without judgment.
3. Avoid Clichés or Minimizing Statements
It’s common to want to say something comforting, but avoid phrases like, “At least you can try again,” or “It was meant to be.” These kinds of statements, though well-intended, can feel dismissive of their pain. Instead, acknowledge the deep loss they’re experiencing without trying to make it seem smaller or easier to bear.
4. Offer Practical Help
Grief can make even simple tasks feel overwhelming. Offering practical support—like cooking a meal, babysitting their other children, or running errands—can be incredibly helpful. Be specific in your offers, such as, “I’d love to drop off dinner for you on Tuesday. Would that be okay?”
5. Check In Regularly
Grief doesn’t disappear after a week or a month. Continue to check in with your friend or loved one long after the initial loss. Let them know you’re thinking of them, especially around anniversaries or important dates related to their loss. A simple text saying, “I’m thinking of you today,” can show that you haven’t forgotten and that you’re still there for them.
Supporting someone through pregnancy or infant loss can be challenging, but by offering empathy, presence, and practical help, you can provide a much-needed source of comfort during a difficult time.
Pregnancy and infant loss is a journey no mother ever imagines walking.
If you are someone navigating this painful path, remember that you are not alone. Your grief is a testament to your love—a love that does not wane or fade. Take your time, honor your feelings, and lean on the support around you. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting; it means finding a way to carry that love forward with you into an integrated part of your story.
Mothers and fathers carry the memory of their little ones in their heart forever. If would like help on beginning the grieving process or your healing journey. Click HERE to book an appointment.
