Grief Is Not Linear: Understanding, Supporting, and Healing Through Loss with Your Mental Health
Grief Is Not Linear: Understanding, Supporting, and Healing Through Loss
Grief is not a problem to be fixed—it’s a process to be honored. Whether you’ve lost a loved one, experienced a miscarriage, the loss of a relationship, a marriage, a dream, your job, or a sense of identity, grief touches every part of who you are. And yet, many people struggle in silence, unsure how to process the deep ache inside them. As a mental health counselor and coach, I want to offer hope, clarity, and practical tools to guide you—or someone you love—through grief with grace and truth.
🌟🌟For a detailed list of grief resources for your mental health, scroll to the bottom of this blog post!🌟🌟
What Grief Really Is (And What It’s Not)
Grief is the emotional, mental, psychological, physical, and spiritual response to loss. Contrary to common belief, grief is not limited to the death of a loved one. People grieve divorce, lost jobs, a child moving away, health diagnoses, miscarriages, or even shifts in identity and purpose.
Debunking the Myths:
Myth #1: “You’ll eventually get over it.”
Truth: Grief doesn’t have an expiration date. It becomes something we carry and integrate, not something we erase.Myth #2: “If you’re still emotional, you’re not healing.”
Truth: Emotions are part of healing. Suppressing them can prolong the process and lead to complications like depression, panic attacks, or even anxiety.Myth #3: “Everyone grieves the same way.”
Truth: Grief is deeply personal. No timeline, expression, or reaction is universal. There are so many factors that influence this, such as:Feeling blindsided by spontaneous or unexpected loss loss
A “slow burn” process of anticipated loss
Being in environments that have reminders connected to the loss
Comments, regardless of intent, can touch close to the loss
Your faith journey and perception of God
Your current physical and emotional health
Your support circle
Your financial situation
Associations connected to the loss (sight, sound, taste, touch, smells, etc.)
As Ecclesiastes 3:4 reminds us, there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Healing in the grieving process requires us to allow both.
I tell my clients is this: your body is doing what it was created to do —to mourn the loss. If we didn’t have an emotionally charged reaction to loss, that could be more concerning than the wave and rollercoaster of emotion that you are experiencing. The rollercoaster of emotions can and does create fatigue, exhaustion, a lack of interest in things we once enjoyed, and contribute to feeling overwhelmed in decision making. While it is a difficult process to endure, going through the grief is, in fact, part of the process.
Grief in Men and Women: A Different Journey
Studies from the American Psychological Association show that men tend to experience grief more internally, often appearing stoic or “strong,” while suppressing vulnerability due to cultural expectations. Women, by contrast, may express grief more openly and are often more socially supported in their grieving process.
That doesn’t mean one way is better—only that grief must be met with compassion tailored to the person.
Grief in Children: Unique and Misunderstood
Children grieve differently because they process loss through developmental stages. According to the Harvard Center on the Developing Child, grief in kids often shows up as:
Mood swings or tantrums
Regression (bedwetting, clinginess)
Withdrawal or acting out
Difficulty concentrating
Children may “re-grieve” as they age and understand the loss more fully. Their brains are still forming meaning, and they often need consistent reassurance and safe space to talk.
Symptoms of Grief
For Adults:
Sadness or depression
Guilt or anger
Fatigue or insomnia
Isolation
Physical pain (e.g., headaches, chest tightness)
Cognitive fog or forgetfulness
For Children:
Behavior issues or acting out
Anxiety or clinginess
Sleep disturbances
School trouble or regression
Somatic complaints (stomachaches, headaches)
What May Surprise You About Grief
Grief can cause physical pain. Harvard Health notes that stress from grief can manifest in your heart, immune system, and digestion.
You can feel joy and grief at the same time. This emotional duality is healthy and human.
Grief can trigger trauma or unresolved wounds. Sometimes grief opens the door to deeper emotional healing, especially with EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy.
Holistic Ways to Process Grief
Healing requires care for your mind, body, and soul. Here are several strategies:
Mind: Journal, seek therapy, or read resources like Prosper in Motherhood (a resource I’ve written with faith, healing, and reflection tools).
Body: Walk daily, rest generously, and eat nourishing meals. Your nervous system needs care.
Soul: Lean into Scripture. Psalm 34:18 tells us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Prayer, community, and worship can be powerful anchors.
Hope is Not Lost
Grief may feel heavy, but you do not carry it alone. There is strength in reaching out. Healing begins when you allow yourself to be seen, heard, and supported. As Isaiah 61:3 says, God brings “a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning.”
Take the Next Step
If you are navigating a season of grief—whether recent or long-buried—I invite you to schedule a counseling session or EMDR intensive with me. Together, we will work through the emotions, rebuild meaning, and find hope again.
📘 For additional tools and reflections on grief, faith, and healing, check out my book, Prosper in Motherhood.
📅 Ready to talk? Schedule an appointment here.
You don’t have to navigate grief alone. Let’s walk this healing journey together.
“Grief is the price we pay for love."
Queen Elizabeth II
Grief & Loss Resources
GriefShare
Faith-based 13-week support groups for those grieving the death of a loved one. This is a great way to find a local support group in your community who can relate to what you are experiencing in your grief.
Website: https://www.griefshare.org/
The Dougy Center
National center for grieving children and families. Offers resources for all ages.
Website: https://www.dougy.org/
What’s Your Grief
Offers grief education, coping tools, and printable worksheets.
Website: https://whatsyourgrief.com/
The Compassionate Friends
Support for families grieving the loss of a child at any age.
Website: https://www.compassionatefriends.org/
Infertility & Pregnancy Loss
Resolve
Provides education, forums, and peer-led support groups for infertility.
Website: https://resolve.org/
Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support
Faith-based support for miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss.
Website: https://nationalshare.org/
Job Loss & Career Grief
CareerOneStop
Tools for job loss recovery including emotional support and retraining.
Website: https://www.careeronestop.org/
Faith-Based Resources
Focus on the Family
Biblically grounded resources for those grieving.
Website: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/
Counseling and Coaching sessions and intensives for grief and trauma:
Website: https://www.prospercounsel.com/freeconsultation
YouVersion Bible App
Grief devotionals like 'Comfort in Times of Loss' and 'Grieving with Hope.'
Website: https://www.bible.com/
Therapeutic Tools & Directories
Book: “Prosper In Motherhood”
A faith-based book written to moms as they go through the challenges in early motherhood. Includes mental health tools you can implement immediately. Touches on the topic of grief in the loss of personal dreams, expectations, and unforeseen medical issues at the birth of the firstborn child.
Website: https://www.prospercounse.com/book
Psychology Today
Directory of grief-informed therapists.
Website: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
EMDR International Association
Find trauma-informed EMDR therapists.
Website: https://www.emdria.org/
SAMHSA Grief Support
Resources for grief following disaster or sudden loss.
Website: https://www.samhsa.gov/
LOCAL KANSAS RESOURCES FOR GRIEF SUPPORT AND COUNSEL
Solace House – Kansas City Hospice
Provides a nurturing environment for children, teens, and adults to navigate grief. Offers individual and group counseling sessions. KCHospice
Kansas City Hospice & Palliative Care
Offers individual, couples, and family grief support, as well as referrals for crisis counseling and collaboration with schools and organizations. KCHospice
St. Michael the Archangel Catholic Parish – Leawood, KS
Provides various grief support groups, including "HeartAche To Healing" for young widows and widowers, and "Beginning Experience" for those who have lost a spouse through death, divorce, or separation. St. Michael the Archangel Parish
Family Resources for Grief and Support – Johnson County, KS
Offers a compilation of mental health resources for those dealing with the death of a loved one. JoCoGov
LOCAL MISSOURI RESOURCES FOR GRIEF SUPPORT
Lost & Found Grief Center
Provides free therapeutic grief support groups for children, teens, young adults, and families.
Website: lostandfoundozarks.comSt. Louis Children's Hospital+3Lost and Found Grief Center+3Lost and Found Grief Center+3Lost and Found Grief Center
Seasons Hospice – Bereavement Services
Offers bereavement support groups and counseling for up to 13 months after a loved one's passing.
Website: springfieldhospice.comSeasons Hospice+1Seasons Hospice+1
