Beyond the Surface: A Parent’s Guide to Nervous System Regulation and Somatic Awareness

We’ve all been there. The noise level in the house rises just a decibel too high, the laundry pile looks more like a mountain range, and suddenly, you feel it—that tightening in your chest, the snap in your voice, the overwhelming urge to just walk out the door.

This week, my family was at our favorite Mexican restaurant. If you know me, you know that chips and salsa are essentially a therapeutic tool for my soul. But between the second and third basket of chips, we had a conversation that stopped me in my tracks.

I asked my kids what it actually feels like in their bodies when they start to feel overwhelmed or "out of control." Their answers were a masterclass in somatic awareness:

  • “It feels like my shoulders are tied to my ears.”

  • “My body just stops, and I start to shake all over.”

  • “I freeze.”

As a therapist momma, I was beaming. Why? Because identifying the physical sensation is the vital first step toward nervous system regulation. You cannot navigate a map if you don’t know your starting point.

What is Somatic Awareness?

In the world of mental health, "somatic" simply refers to the body. Somatic awareness is the ability to perceive physical sensations—the racing heart, the tight throat, the heavy limbs—that occur in response to our emotions.

For many of us, especially those of us raised to "power through" or "pray it away," we have become disconnected from our necks down. We treat our bodies like high-speed vehicles for our brains, ignoring the check-engine lights until the car breaks down completely.

But God designed our bodies and spirits to be intricately linked. When we ignore the physical signals of stress, we lose the opportunity to find the peace He offers in the midst of it.

Awareness: The Beginning of Faithfulness

I often tell my clients that Awareness = Change.

So much of the battle with anxiety and fear is a battle for control. We try to control the schedule, the kids, and the future to keep the "bad feelings" at bay. But true felt control doesn't come from fixing external circumstances; it comes from internal awareness.

When we become aware of our bodies, we gain the power of choice. Instead of a knee-jerk reaction (yelling, shutting down, or escaping), awareness creates a tiny gap. In that gap, we can choose a different path. This is where faithfulness begins—choosing to lean into God’s tools for peace rather than our own frantic efforts to survive.

The Science of the "Somatic Pause"

When my kids described "freezing" or "shaking," they were describing their Autonomic Nervous System in action.

  • Fight/Flight: The "shoulders to ears" and "shaking" (Sympathetic Nervous System).

  • Freeze: The "body just stops" (Dorsal Vagal response).

When we are in these states, our logical brain (the prefrontal cortex) essentially goes offline. You can’t "reason" your way out of a physiological state. You have to breathe your way out.

How to Practice the Two-Step Reset

At the restaurant, we practiced two simple steps that you can start using today with your children (and yourself!):

1. Recognize and Label

Instead of saying "I'm stressed," try to be specific about the body part.

  • "I notice my hands are clenched."

  • "I feel a heavy rock in my stomach."

  • "My jaw feels tight."

For Kids: Ask them to pretend they are a "body detective." Where is the "big feeling" hiding? Is it in your wiggly legs or your hot face?

2. The Deep Exhale

The exhale is the "brake pedal" of the nervous system. While a quick, shallow inhale can actually increase anxiety, a long, slow exhale stimulates the vagus nerve, telling your brain: "You are safe. There is no lion in the room."

We practiced a few rounds of this between bites of tacos. No big lecture. No presentation. Just a biological reset.

Integrating Faith: The Breath Prayer

As Christians, we have an even deeper resource for regulation. We can pair our biological reset with spiritual truth.

One of my favorite ways to do this is through a Breath Prayer, using Psalm 139:23-24. This scripture asks God to "search me and know my heart." When we practice somatic awareness, we are literally asking God to show us what is happening inside us so He can lead us.

  • Inhale: Search me and know me...

  • Exhale: ...and lead me in Your way.

This practice acknowledges that while our bodies may feel out of control, we are held by a God who is very much in control.

Ready to Prosper in your mental well-being?

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and need more than just a deep breath, I’m here to help. Whether you’re looking for clinical support or practical tools to navigate motherhood and anxiety, let’s connect.

👉 Book a Free Consultation to learn more about how counseling (KS/MO) or nationwide coaching can support your journey to mental well-being.

If parenting decisions feel heavy, confusing, or emotionally loaded, that is often a sign your nervous system needs support too.

We help parents learn how to lead from calm instead of constant self-doubt.

You are invited to schedule a free consult or download one of our free tools to help you parent with clarity, boundaries, and grace.

The Anxiety Reset Guide

Stop anxious spirals

Your nervous system is wired for rhythm, not rush. When you’re constantly jumping between kid activities, work responsibilities, cooking, cleaning, and family expectations, your body enters a state of survival mode. This guide gives you a starting point for emotional regulation and kicking guilt and shame to the curb.

Ready for More Support?

At Prosper Counseling, we integrate faith and evidence-based care so your body and beliefs work in the same direction. That includes anxiety therapy that honors physiology and story, and EMDR therapy online for Missouri and Kansas clients. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps your brain and body reprocess stuck emotions so that today’s triggers stop borrowing narratives from the past that make you feel burned out, unsafe, or dysregulated.

Women in Missouri and Kansas are often looking for support with healing from their own childhood narrative or for a more holistic approach to anxiety and trauma. Counseling is available for individuals and couples.

Many clients find EMDR pairs beautifully with faith. If you’re still considering if therapy is a good fit for you, read more about Anxiety Therapy and EMDR Therapy. You can book a free consultation at any time.

Order a copy of the book Prosper in Motherhood full of helpful and practical tools for your motherhood journey.

Serving Springfield, MO; St. Louis, MO; Kansas City, KS; Wichita, KS, and all surrounding metro areas in Kansas and Missouri.

Mental health and life coaching in all 50 states.

Larissa Darter

This article was written by Larissa Darter, founder of Prosper Counseling. She is a compassionate therapist, speaker, author, and resource creator who’s deeply passionate about normalizing mental health struggles and helping women and couples find true healing and connection. Through a Christ-centered lens and evidence-based psychological practices, she’s here to support you in decreasing anxiety and increasing well-being—mind, body, and soul.

Larissa works with women navigating anxiety, trauma, burnout, and motherhood, and also walks alongside couples who want to strengthen their communication and emotional intimacy.

She writes a heartfelt newsletter and blog, where she shares free mental health encouragement and resources. She is also the author of Prosper in Motherhood.

https://wwww.prospercounsel.com
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