Are You Embracing or Bracing for the Holidays?Calm Your Nervous System When the Holidays Feel Like Too Much

Do you find yourself bracing for the holiday season or embracing it?

If you’re a busy, Christian mom who’s already mentally calculating gifts, school events, church programs, travel, and who’s-bringing-what-to-Grandma’s… you’re not alone. The holidays can feel beautiful and brutal at the same time.

Today I want to invite you into something different: a quieter, more regulated, more Jesus-centered way to walk through this season.

Bracing or embracing?

If your body feels like it’s bracing—tight chest, clenched jaw, racing thoughts—you’re not “being dramatic.” That’s your nervous system doing its job, noticing pressure and trying to protect you.

Add in:

• School events and parties

• Church programs

• Family expectations

• Social media comparison

…and suddenly the “most wonderful time of the year” can feel like one long, slow slide into exhaustion and mom-guilt.

Since August, you’ve probably worked hard to build routines for your family. Then October hits—with fall break, fall festivals, late nights, and sugar—and slowly your rhythms start to unravel. You see it in:

• Extra wiggles at the dinner table

• Three meltdowns before 9:00 a.m.

• Bedtime battles that leave everyone in tears

This isn’t a character flaw in you or your kids. It’s dysregulation. And we can work with that.

This year, I’m intentionally choosing to prioritize four words: peace, joy, simplicity, and presence—and I’m letting them shape what gets a “yes” and what gets a “no.”

If it doesn’t fit at least one of those? It’s probably a “no” this year.

1. Peace: Let your heart exhale

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give to you.
Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
— John 14:27

Holiday culture screams more: more events, more gifts, more traditions. Jesus offers something totally different: His peace.

Practically, for our family, peace looks like:

1. Protecting slow evenings
   Not every night, but more than usual. We’re in a season where we’re intentionally saying “no” to weeknight activities when possible. This means cutting back on sports and extracurriculars.

   This might make some people anxious to think about changing their calendars, but slowing down your schedule may be the reset you and your family need. More time to connect. More time to allow your nervous system margin to reset.

   This “dead space” has created room for some excellent conversations that probably would not have happened had our schedules been filled.

2. Turning phones off earlier
   Less scrolling, fewer notifications, more space to actually feel and breathe. We are turning our phones off after dinner, usually 6:30 PM.

   This means we have extra space to allow organic conversation to happen verses numbing out or feeding off of dopamine hit after dopamine hit via screens.

3. Keeping lights low and cozy
   Lamps, Christmas lights, a few candles—this tells your nervous system, “You’re safe. You can soften now.” We are turning low, warm lights, and I can tell a difference in my mind and body settling down for sleep at night. Try it and see if you can too!

2. Joy: Remember why we’re celebrating

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.”
— Nehemiah 8:10

So much of modern Christmas joy is actually pressure:
“Make it magical.”
“Make it memorable.”
“Make sure everyone is happy and no one feels left out.”

Real joy isn’t you performing as the cruise director of your home. Real joy is rooted in the reality that Jesus came—God with us, even here, even now, even in the chaos.

Ways we’re making room for joy:

• Board games and read-alouds instead of constant outings or overconsumption of screen time
  Deep belly laughs over a card game go a lot farther than dragging everyone to one more event or obligation you secretly dread.

  Is it awkward at first? Perhaps if you’re not used to this kind of practice together. Give it 30 minutes and see what happens. Find another night to rinse and repeat.

  Good things take time. Think slow pour over coffee. Sourdough loaves. Marinated steak. Counting down to Christmas. We all enjoy one or more of these things, and they have only gotten better with practice!

Family-friendly game ideas:

1. Talking Point

2. Tapple

3. Puzzles

4. Chess

• Music that calms, not just entertains
  We stream calming instrumental Christmas playlists and worship music on YouTube—sounds that soothe instead of overstimulate our nervous systems.

  Here are a few:

  1. Cozy Coffee Shop Music

  2. Classical

  3. Holiday - Fireplace

Joy doesn’t always look like “big fun.” Sometimes it’s a quiet smile as your child leans on your shoulder, both of you finally exhaling after a long day.

3. Simplicity: Because your bandwidth is not infinite

“Better is a little with the fear of the Lord
than great treasure and trouble with it.”
— Proverbs 15:16

Here’s the honest truth: you do not have the emotional, mental, or physical bandwidth to do everything the culture tells you a “good mom” does at Christmas.

When we pretend we do, we end up:

• Snapping at our kids

• Resenting our spouse

• Numbing out on our phones

• Secretly dreading the very events we agreed to

Simplicity is a spiritual discipline. It’s you saying:

• “We’re choosing one or two special traditions instead of ten.”

• “We’re giving fewer gifts with more thought.”

• “We’re staying home some nights, even if it disappoints someone.”

Your kids don’t need a Pinterest-perfect Christmas. They need a parent who isn’t completely fried.

4. Presence: The gift your family actually wants

“Be still, and know that I am God.”
— Psalm 46:10

So much of holiday stress is mental multitasking:

• Replaying that tense family conversation

• Remembering which teacher gift you forgot

• Stressing about money

• Planning three days ahead in your head

• Buying Christmas outfits for programs, concerts, and choir performances

Presence is choosing to be here with the people in front of you.

For our family, that looks like:

• Slowing down at dinner (even if it’s cereal night)

• Looking our kids in the eye when they talk

• Giving a real hug before we move on to the next task

Not every night is like this. There are seasons where we’ve had an activity every single evening. But this fall, we’re intentionally planning an “off-ramp” from that pattern—for our kids’ nervous systems and our own.

A simple “Parenting Pause” when everyone is melting down

Sometimes what you need isn’t one more list, idea, or tradition. Sometimes what you need is a pause.

Call it your “Midweek Pause” or your “Parenting Pause”—whatever you like. Use it in those moments when your child’s dysregulation starts to pull you right out of your own window of tolerance.

Here’s how it can look in real time:

1. Notice activation in your body.
   The heat in your chest. The tension in your jaw. The urge to snap, yell, or shut down.

2. Pause and place one hand on your heart.
   Feel the warmth of your hand. Feel your heartbeat. You’re reminding your body: “I’m here.”

3. Take one slow breath in…and one slow breath out.

4. Silently acknowledge:

   “Their nervous system is asking for help.”

   This shifts the story in your head from “They’re being ridiculous” to “Their body is overwhelmed.”

5. Take one more slow breath.

6. Ask yourself:

   “What do I need right now to help theirs?”

   -Sometimes the answer is space: “I’m going to step into the hall and take 30 seconds.”
   - Sometimes it’s connection: “I’m going to get down on their level and soften my voice.”
   - Sometimes it’s structure: “I’m going to follow through calmly on the boundary.”

You are not a bad mom because you get overwhelmed. You are a human mom with a human nervous system, caring for little humans with big feelings. The pause is where God so often meets us.

When holiday stress is more than “just a season”

If you notice that holiday stress:

• Cranks up your anxiety every year

• Triggers old trauma or painful memories

• Leaves you feeling numb, hopeless, or on edge all the time

…you don’t have to white-knuckle it alone.

Therapy can give you:

• Language for what’s happening in your body and mind

• Practical tools to regulate your nervous system

• Support to set boundaries with guilt-free clarity

• A safe space to process the grief, pressure, and disappointment that sit under the surface

At Prosper Counseling, we walk with Christian women and couples who love Jesus and still feel overwhelmed, anxious, or burned out—especially during the holidays.

Ready to create a calmer holiday?

If you’re tired of bracing your way through this season and want support in building a slower, more peaceful, Christ-centered rhythm—for you and your family—we’d be honored to walk alongside you.

👉 Click here to schedule an appointment or free 15-minute consult with Prosper Counseling.
Let’s help your nervous system, your faith, and your family culture all move toward peace this holiday season—not perfection.

What Support Can Look Like

At Prosper Counseling, we integrate faith and evidence-based care so your body and beliefs work in the same direction. That includes anxiety therapy that honors physiology and story, and EMDR therapy online for Missouri and Kansas clients. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps your brain and body reprocess stuck alarms so today’s triggers stop borrowing yesterday’s volume. Many clients find EMDR pairs beautifully with faith—Scripture becomes a calming resource rather than another thing to “do right.”

What you can expect from our approach:

• a clear assessment + plan so you’re not guessing

• a therapeutic relationship where feelings are contained, not corrected

• practical, Christ-centered language for what your body is doing—without shame

• pacing that respects your nervous system’s capacity

Prosper Counseling serves Missouri and Kansas via secure telehealth for therapy and all fifty states for mental health coaching. We specialize in faith-integrated anxiety treatment and EMDR for high-capacity women and couples who are done white-knuckling. If you’re ready to talk, book a free 15-minute consult and we’ll map your next step together. If you’d rather start gently, read more about Anxiety Therapy and EMDR Therapy, then come back when you’re ready.

Ready for steadier days?

Book your free 15-minute consult (MO & KS telehealth). You’re not “too much.” You’re overloaded. Let’s help your body feel safe enough to move forward.

Want to learn more about managing anxiety? Download the free guidebook: The Anxiety Reset.

Check out low-cost mental health products below.

Looking for resources and downloads? Check out our Gratitude journal and Weekly Goal Tracker HERE.

Interested in FREE resources like our daily self-care checklist or Bible Reading Plan HERE.